Don't read this entry if you get squeamish about poop, barf or the disgusting combination of the two: porf. This is way more descriptive than I would usually be - this blog is about happy family fun and knitting, right? But it's late and this day needs documentation for it's absurdity.
If anyone out there was doing bad voodoo on me about 24 hours ago, guess what? It worked. I am up the creek, I am in the weeds, I am covered in porf. I have not one but two children with the stomach flu. I have a husband out of the country. I got my period today. And I have huge work projects getting completely ignored (see previous three sentences).
Little Miss was home sick today because of explosive poops. She seemed happy and normal, just insane poops. As the day wore on, she got increasingly worse. Near the end of the school day, I got a call that E had just thrown up. I put a very tired Little Miss in the car and headed to get E, hoping she wouldn't throw up or poo on the way there. I successfully got E into the car and was pulling back into our driveway when I heard, "oh no". E turned toward Em and threw up all over her. As she started screaming, he turned to the middle and threw up all over his bucket of books that sits at his feet. As I am scrambling out my door, he turns to his and throws up again all over it. Finally, he staggers out of the car and does it once more on the garage floor. Em is SCREAMING in her car seat, covered in . . . well, you know. I get E out of his clothes in the garage and go back into the wretched car to get the baby, to discover her diaper has exploded with poop all over her seat. No lie. Voodoo.
We spent the rest of the night in recovery and after I got both clean and to sleep I had to face the car. The car. Ack, the car. I won't even begin to describe. I knew that someday I would be able to laugh about it, to tell a story to the kids when they were 10 and 15. But in the real moment of today that was only a little comfort. I am going to go purge my memory in an extremely hot bath and hope that this voodoo curse wears off before midnight so we can start fresh in the morning.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
6 comments:
"Oh Lord, Oh Lord" these are the words I kept repeating as I read your blog with my hands over my mouth in sad astonishment. Oh Lord, Katie. I know poop, I know barf and I know a little about the dreaded porf, but never all in the car together. I'm sorry...I say this as I imagine the door storage compartments in your volvo and what they were storing...eww.
I'm so sorry! the only thing I can think to compare it to is the time I was supposed to let a friend's dog out for her morning constitutional, and the dog was feeling a bit off. I got a flat tire and couldn't get there for ages. The dog was pretty fastidious, so I can only imagine that she was going round in circles saying, 'oh no! oh no!'. At least that's the only way I can describe what I arrived to - it looked like someone had put runny brown stuff in a blender and then turned it on with the lid off.
so sorry! Hope you all are feeling better soon!
Help is on the way.
Jonesie will be at the house on Thursday morning.
I'm Sarah's sister, Sue. Sarah sent your little gem to her "posse", cause that's the kind of gal she is...
I echo her thoughts exactly.
Good grief, to purge the whole experience from your memory would be a good thing, but alas and alak, you will forever, FOREVER, be reminded of it whenever you open the car door. Seriously, that smell is eternal...
"porf" (((snicker)))
SO sorry to hear the throngs of parenthood came upon you in full force...and with hubby out of the country. BLEAK! I'd say use lots of scented candles and soft music with your bath. And borrow a friends deep carpet and upholstery cleaner for the car. I spilled Thai Curry Chicken I had done for a cooking class I was teaching. I thought the fish sauce smell would be in forever, but one good cleaning and we were OK. And your lovely lavendar...keep an open container in there. Best of luck!!
Oh my.
Well there's my birth control for the month. Give them both big hugs from J and I. Avoiding the porf, of course.
- Chrid
Post a Comment